Run Away

The reasons for this blog is to keep me sane(ish) and maybe just maybe become a better person. Unlike other stuff I've written in the past this is going to be no holds barred. I can't say how often it'll be updated or if it will be makes sense to anyone other than me. That's what really not important anyway, this is for me. I recently turned twenty-eight and it's weird that I've come so far and changed so much yet I still feel inadequate. I want there to be more for me and I'm afraid there's not. Is that normal? I want my path to be clearly visible, but it's far from that. I'm a hard worker at any job I do. I learn fast and can do a lot of thing. Even though it seems to be a rarity I take pride in any work I do. I can't understand why other's just half ass everything or do just enough to get by. I can multitask like a mother fucker and don't understand why some people can barely do one thing at a time. I guess I shouldn't try to apply logic to the illogical. Especially in west Texas. The oilfield boom(and impending bust) is bringing the dumbest people people from the country here. Maybe that's and understatement, there are actually idiots from all over the world here not just the ones from the "good ole US of A." I have never really had a place that feels like home and I'd be worried of this place feels like home. I'm thankful that plans are in the works to get out of this hell. The majority of my progression in the last going on two years is because of my girlfriend. She's strong and independent and doesn't really need me. I need her though. She's stubborn and though we do clash in personalities I wouldn't change a thing. Well there's one thing I would change... She's got back problems and they are bad. I wish I could take that hurt she has and discard it. It tears me to pieces to see her holding back tears. I finally got her to go to the VA (since she's a veteran) and start getting help. There's a long road ahead for her and I. I know there will be times where I want to run away and I know there's times where she has wanted to run away too. I think that the mutual thought of getting out of west Texas is why we're going to move sooner rather than later. As it stands we're going to Las Cruces, NM. We'll be half way between her parents and mine. Eventually we'll end up on the west coast or even the UK. I'm not going to lie I get scared thinking about the future. Every time I've ever thought about a future with someone the relationship falls to shit. This relationship feels different though. She's smarter than me, and I don't think myself to be an idiot. I like not having to dumb myself down. Granted I still have to do that at work, but that's temporary... hopefully.