yeah about that...

I'm two weeks into my seven week training at a call center of all places. I'm not much one for talking on the phone in fact it is a source of great anxiety. Of all my issues that is the second biggest one. The biggest issue I have is a fear of being happy. How stupid does that sound? It sounds very stupid to me, but I'm afraid that if I am completely happy things will fall to shit. Back to the job. I think that this is the first step to becoming a better me; to face one fear head on. I've started watching Obsessed on netflix and it's making me more aware of my issues, well not more aware but more conscious of them. I want to get better before they manifest into something worse. I think that if I can get over the anxiety of talking on the phone I'll be able to conquer the other things. I owe it to Dre and I owe to myself. I think it's funny that it's harder to sit in a chair for eight hours a day than it is to run around like crazy for ten plus hours a day. I feels more physically demanding on my body than doing physical work. I can't wait for training to be finished because waking up at five a.m. is a pain in the ass. Hopefully I'll be able to make some progress in the garage tomorrow. I want it organized so it can be a functional space and not just a storage space. Yes there will be stuff stored there, but it'll be put up in a way that makes sense and not just there. I'll probably have a mohawk soon. The call center I'm working at is very lax with the dress code so I can have my hair however I want it and have my piercings. Soon I'll get a New Mexico driver's license. I'm trying to make this place feel like home and a big part of that is getting a state I.D. and registering he vehicles in the state. It may sound silly, but it's important to me.